Letter from Publisher: It's Okay Not to be OkaySep 29, 2020 02:35PM ● By Amber Mc Kenzie
you're high on emotion
And you're losing your focus
And you feel too exhausted to pray
Don't get lost in the moment
Or give up when you're closest
All you need is somebody to say
okay not to be okay
When you're down and you feel ashamed
It's okay not to be okay
Lyrics from the song, “OK Not to Be OK” by Marshmello and Demi Lovato
I heard this song on the radio while driving with my kids after the following events:
· Completion of our first week of remote learning with my second and fourth grader (yikes!)
· Being stuck inside for several days due to smoke from area wildfires
· Hearing the news of the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
· Visiting a very dear loved one who is in hospice care
Let’s just say I was not feeling okay. In fact, I was the opposite of okay; more like overwhelmed, stressed, sad, frustrated, worried, wheezy and anxious—just to name a few. So, when I heard the words to this song, I completely lost it. I cried for the next three miles while singing these new lyrics and telling my kids, “it’s okay not to be okay, you guys!” I didn’t even realize it, but I needed permission to not be okay and that’s precisely what the Universe was offering.
I share these lyrics with you here because perhaps you’re not feeling okay, and I want to offer you permission to feel those feelings and experience those emotion and know that it’s okay to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. You’re not damaged or wrong or failing or sucking at life; you’re simply having your own unique human experience and sometimes that experience really, really sucks. If 2020 has offered us anything of value, it’s the realization that we don’t truly have full control over anything. And that sometimes, we have no choice but to surrender it all to a force that is greater than ourselves. Some call it God, some call it Love, the Universe, Spirit, Source, Divine Order, Science, Jesus, Life Force Energy—whatever ‘that’ is for you, surrender to it. Allow your not-being-okay in—and just be with it. No, it’s not comfortable—especially in our culture that demands people “be okay” even when they’re not, but what’s more uncomfortable is burying those emotions until they erupt in extremely unhealthy and damaging ways: also known as the shadow.
Through my spiritual center, I will be holding an online shadow workshop called The Q Process on Thursday afternoons from October 22 to November 19 via Zoom. If you are at all interested in finding out more about the shadow, and what yours is trying to tell you, please visit inwAwakenings.com/events or UnitySpokane.org/calendar to learn more.
I would also encourage anyone who is feeling especially helpless, hopeless and lost to seek professional help and know you are not alone. Guidance is out there (and within you) and ready to receive you in all your beautiful, messy glory.
It’s okay not to be okay.